seriously intense dreaming.

maybe the beginning will come to me, but i'm with mom, we're standing at a small round table like the kind at one of my jobs but where we are is definitely bright and not bar-like, and then to my left is my father.  but it's him from the eighties, from an old photo - he's even wearing the same outfit.  and he looks young - in his thirties.  my mother is the same age she is now.  at first i'm thrilled that they're together! - it must be how kids feel when their divorced parents meet and seem to get along - and then i realize that he's too young for her now, that he's closer to my age.  my mother is watching him, smiling but sad.  i realize that i'm in some sort of purgatory where i can communicate with the dead and the sleeping.

i start getting text messages from my aunt pat (my closest relative, who was my penpal growing up, gave me my first car, always lets me stay with her when i'm heading through town, etc.  but she does not send text messages.)  the texts are sort of explaining what's going on, and as i ask her questions the phone vibrates and i go over and see what's up.  i'm in a bedroom of sorts, with something perhaps reminiscent of my brother's chest of drawers that my phone is on, and i'm probably on a bed, but like the previous scene and unlike most of my dreams, the setting is vague - the space beyond where i am is light questionable.  there are two cell phones - one is an iphone (a newer one, not mine) and the other phone that is getting aunt pat's texts is something like a droid.  at one point i ask a question and in a minute the iphone magically spits out a small, old, plastic jukebox - the round kind, remember them? - and it plays a song that i can't remember anymore but that essentially answers my question.

then, suddenly, i am part of a journey.  mario, who is about my age and the sole barback for one of my other jobs, is getting me prepared for the journey.  i'm taking things out of my shoulder bag and putting other things in, trying to make things light.  i'm wearing something unusual - perhaps a white tee and a kilt?  - and i remember mario is wearing some burning-man-esque version of aztec garb, as if he were an aztec from ancient times going on a long journey.  i grab both phones so i can keep in contact with my aunt (and i remember in the dream i had a hard time finding both of them, but instead of giving up and leaving one behind, i made sure to find both). 

i'm heading out the door of this building which has become more and more of a house.  i'm with mario and someone else - another woman - and i ask how we're going to get there.  he says we fly.  i'm a little apprehensive about this - can i do it? - and i ask what direction i should be flying in.  he says just go, and he'll meet me up there, and opens the front door.  i take a few steps and then i'm up in the air, but still a little worried that at any minute i might lose this power.  mario and the other girl join me and we take off.
that's the part i remember most. 

at one point we stop, and it's a sort of subconscious waste land - the girl and i are flying, and trying to push up on an elevator of sorts that's more like a black iron cage that we're pushing to the top (by now i've become more comfortable with flying and where the impetus to fly is coming from).  when i try to open the top door there are stuffed animals in the way, and i push them up and we go through.  this little top room is full of stuffed animals, some of them i recognize, and even better, some of them are alive and walking around, but closer to life-sized and "real" (human/animal-esque). i remember these being my favorite childhood stuffed animals, although i can't remember which exact ones i saw.

later, we're someplace and i'm worried that the dream itself is becoming more disconnected and disassociated; a guy there says that means i'm not all there, and looks in my eyes to see if there's something behind them that's coming from someplace else.  i'm wondering who's dead and who's in a coma and who's just in a deep sleep.  and then something happens and, just like that, i'm awake.

those journey dreams.  you gotta love them.  i liked this one because a. it seemed very aware of being a dream - like nemo's adventures in slumberland - and because the offscreen communications were with my favorite aunt and my guide was my favorite busboy who was suddenly the one in charge and it suited him.   

this morning was another commercial audition.  i'm definitely in them to win them now.  i'm still a little sore from an uber-workout saturday evening.  i didn't sleep saturday night, but went straight into a car adventure on long island.  this was fun.  i'm working every night this week.  last night i only made fifty bucks, but it's better than no bucks so i'm not complaining.  the last time i dyed my hair it came out much, much bright-redder than i'd intended; i planned on dying it back as soon as i could, but now i'm sort of used to the brightness.  but i don't think it's good for casting.  was going to dye it last night before the auditions but was so exhausted.  i'm on my way to another - no pay, but meals and copy.  i know this routine.  it'll be good for getting the chops going again.  i'm doing the craig lucas monologue.  then a full night/morning of working.  then a sister bar's birthday party which i no doubt will get to at around 4 am.  wish me luck?

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